The stories we tell ourselves.

They gave her a story long ago…

They gave her a story, long ago.

It didn’t look like a story when they offered it to her. It looked like a tiny seed.

She didn’t know she could throw it away. Why would she? It was a story she had herself questioned in whispers, alone, in the dark.

So when they handed it to her she thought simply, sadly…

Yes. They are right.

She held out her hands and accepted it as her own.

What she had thought was only a silent story was now there in her fist, seen by others, known by them. In shame she hid it. Buried in her heart it sunk and twisted itself within the spaces of her being.

It was not alone.

There were other story seeds, planted side by side.

Unseen, the roots progressed.

Weaving with each other.

Weaving with her.

For decades they were left alone to take over.

Eventually, the seeds were forgotten. In their place grew big, strong tales she thought were there because of who she was, not the stories she first believed. Where the seed had said “You aren’t…” and “You won’t...” there were now defiant weeds that declared: “I can’t.” and “I’m not.”

Many years later, she found a new story seed. It was tiny and this time it said: “What if it isn’t true? Why not you?”

She wasn’t sure she was allowed to keep such a story but she wanted to, desperately. So she hid that story too and over time it also grew. She tended to it, gingerly and unsure at first.

When she saw the weeds had begun to choke it, she found herself pleading: let it grow, let it grow…

Why can’t I?

Let it grow.

Why can’t I?

Let it go.

Why can’t I, why can’t I, why can’t I?

Let go!

Her hands shook as she began to pull at the old weeds. What if you’re not true? She trembled the words out as she unravelled the dried limbs. Why not me? She heard the roots snap as she pulled and tugged. Why can’t I?

As she made war on one final sprig to dig it out, the others went with it.

There it was.

The tangled root system knotted with stories she didn’t know were at work within her all along.

Until now.

Ready for some new, lovely story seeds? Look out for part 2 coming soon.