File under: & other lies I tell myself… Maybe it’s just me—(it’s not, because I’ve been a Copy Coach for years & I hear similar stuff all the time)—but if there was a way of sharing our work with the world without having to share our work with the world then that’d be great. We know there’s a difference between creating *from* fear and creating *in spite of* fear. But, damn. What a tightrope…
Oh you speak right from my heart. Or is it my head? I get these feelings every time I write but they are their worst when I know I want to publish my words. Brain tennis is such a good phrase, that’s exactly what it feels like😫😂
Beautifully said Keeley. Your words are always so moving. Fear does funny things to us. I’ve been working in finance roles for 20 odd years and have two accounting qualifications, but I’m paralysed with fear over applying for a practicing licence so that I can take my next step. Fear that I will not meet the deadlines for the picture book I’m illustrating makes me doubt that I can even draw 🥺
Well. That one is easy. You’re a crazy-amazing artist & your work is stamp-my-feet phenomenal. So that story sucks. Which, I guess is the other part of this isn't it. Other people's fears their work lacks value or brilliance is so easy for us to dismiss because *we* see how magical they are. But truly, I relate so much. Secondly, taking next steps out of comfy pieces is so hard…but I know you are brilliant & have what it takes. 💗
Oof, fear - and the self doubt it gets wrapped in like a pretty Lindt chocolate ball - has really been kicking my bum since following my (at the time very assured) heart and going creative full time. Literally a daily battle. I can only remind myself it's one step at a time and to try and stick to my vision as much as possible (learned that last one the hard way, trying to people please, and failing terribly, because it was all fear I was trying to outrun). Talking about it with others who *completely get it* is what's making the biggest difference for me. Thank you Keeley ❤️
But also it can be the weirdness of people you know not understanding your work (I guess that’s the people pleasing/playing small stuff coming in) or the fear that shows up as competition or scarcity that if someone else has said it, can you still share it? Or if they steal your stuff. Which has happened a number of times. Etc. There’s lots of layers to it.
But I don’t want to create work - words, film, whatever out of scarcity or lack OR not create work because of the fear of how it will be received, or who might take it. Life’s too short, man. 🙈 “Say it, light it, wear it, use it. This is your one life.” Lucy Sheridan
I really do think you & your work are magic. Thanks for doing the hard thing & showing up. 💗💗
I really needed to read this today! I have been using the fear as a “ok what is missing here, what isn’t ... and I hesitate to use this phrase but there is no other ... ‘in alignment’?”
And to sit with, and figure it out if possible. I have been sitting on a piece for a year because we’ve been through all sorts of pauses for all sorts of different reasons... but as I’m on nobody’s deadline but my own, it feels good to learn into how to move through a creation and release of a painting meditation without the hustle.
But I also wanna check this d&rn painting video off my to do list. It’s starting to haunt me that it is not out in the world yet. But I am trying a fresh round of “what if?” to see if it sits better. Wish me luck??
Beautiful post and it reminded me of a quote that I read recently: "I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do." ~ Georgia O'Keeffe
Oh so much yes to your words! I've just sent out my 11th newsletter and must have written half a dozen drafts that I then shelved due to fear of one sort or another. Played it safe in the end. 🙈 Learning to negotiate this is all part of the process I know but wow it is some tennis match! Thanks again 🙏
Exactly! It's not that we don't *know* this stuff, it's just that it's a hard game and sometimes just nice to get some cheering from the side. And yes learning to negotiate with how much we share, is such a great way to put that. 'Brave dollars' I call it. 🙈 Podcast episode about it here: https://keeleyrees.substack.com/p/ep-3-creative-currency#details
So true, so true! I've never procrastinated so much in my life as I do when I'm wanting to sit down and write something meaningful to publish. Hell, even when I'm not writing to publish, just write! Eeek! Oh the mind games. My mind is a terrible friend. Why doesn't it come easier the more I do it, like going to the gym? Or will it?
Our minds can be total mean girls sometimes. I think it does get easier tbh. The game is won faster, less energy poured into it before the win. You kind of build a new history with yourself, and back yourself more. And you learn which stories are from your inner mean girl and which ones are actually trying to help you edit your work. But every now and then there'll be a new level of discomfort to get through and you have a hard match, but the next few you blitz through. That's why we need each other in this creative journey. Someone has to pass us the sugar snacks and water bottle!
Beautifully expressed Keeley. ❤️
Thank you! So glad you think so. ✨🤍
Oh you speak right from my heart. Or is it my head? I get these feelings every time I write but they are their worst when I know I want to publish my words. Brain tennis is such a good phrase, that’s exactly what it feels like😫😂
It’s my *least* favourite game. So glad we’re in it together at least! 🙈🤍🤍
« I feel really good about this » *goes to show anyone else « Oh gods, I take it all back. It’s terrible awful! »
Heyyy Brain Tennis buddy. 🤍
Beautifully said Keeley. Your words are always so moving. Fear does funny things to us. I’ve been working in finance roles for 20 odd years and have two accounting qualifications, but I’m paralysed with fear over applying for a practicing licence so that I can take my next step. Fear that I will not meet the deadlines for the picture book I’m illustrating makes me doubt that I can even draw 🥺
Well. That one is easy. You’re a crazy-amazing artist & your work is stamp-my-feet phenomenal. So that story sucks. Which, I guess is the other part of this isn't it. Other people's fears their work lacks value or brilliance is so easy for us to dismiss because *we* see how magical they are. But truly, I relate so much. Secondly, taking next steps out of comfy pieces is so hard…but I know you are brilliant & have what it takes. 💗
Oof, fear - and the self doubt it gets wrapped in like a pretty Lindt chocolate ball - has really been kicking my bum since following my (at the time very assured) heart and going creative full time. Literally a daily battle. I can only remind myself it's one step at a time and to try and stick to my vision as much as possible (learned that last one the hard way, trying to people please, and failing terribly, because it was all fear I was trying to outrun). Talking about it with others who *completely get it* is what's making the biggest difference for me. Thank you Keeley ❤️
Lol like a pretty Lindt ball. 🙈 Sigh. Yes.
But also it can be the weirdness of people you know not understanding your work (I guess that’s the people pleasing/playing small stuff coming in) or the fear that shows up as competition or scarcity that if someone else has said it, can you still share it? Or if they steal your stuff. Which has happened a number of times. Etc. There’s lots of layers to it.
But I don’t want to create work - words, film, whatever out of scarcity or lack OR not create work because of the fear of how it will be received, or who might take it. Life’s too short, man. 🙈 “Say it, light it, wear it, use it. This is your one life.” Lucy Sheridan
I really do think you & your work are magic. Thanks for doing the hard thing & showing up. 💗💗
I really needed to read this today! I have been using the fear as a “ok what is missing here, what isn’t ... and I hesitate to use this phrase but there is no other ... ‘in alignment’?”
And to sit with, and figure it out if possible. I have been sitting on a piece for a year because we’ve been through all sorts of pauses for all sorts of different reasons... but as I’m on nobody’s deadline but my own, it feels good to learn into how to move through a creation and release of a painting meditation without the hustle.
But I also wanna check this d&rn painting video off my to do list. It’s starting to haunt me that it is not out in the world yet. But I am trying a fresh round of “what if?” to see if it sits better. Wish me luck??
One of the things I love about the Substack community is this exact reminder. Thank you Keeley! We feel less alone and more seen.
I totally agree, Donna! This community is just amazing. So happy to connect with you. 💗
Beautiful post and it reminded me of a quote that I read recently: "I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do." ~ Georgia O'Keeffe
😮 I love that! Thank you for sharing it. 🤍
I loved the quote too and you're welcome!
Love this, so true whenever I pick up the paint brush 🙌
A quick match of brain tennis before you paint? 🎾 So fun. 🫠 💖
Oh so much yes to your words! I've just sent out my 11th newsletter and must have written half a dozen drafts that I then shelved due to fear of one sort or another. Played it safe in the end. 🙈 Learning to negotiate this is all part of the process I know but wow it is some tennis match! Thanks again 🙏
Exactly! It's not that we don't *know* this stuff, it's just that it's a hard game and sometimes just nice to get some cheering from the side. And yes learning to negotiate with how much we share, is such a great way to put that. 'Brave dollars' I call it. 🙈 Podcast episode about it here: https://keeleyrees.substack.com/p/ep-3-creative-currency#details
Will take a listen. Thank you 🙏
So true, so true! I've never procrastinated so much in my life as I do when I'm wanting to sit down and write something meaningful to publish. Hell, even when I'm not writing to publish, just write! Eeek! Oh the mind games. My mind is a terrible friend. Why doesn't it come easier the more I do it, like going to the gym? Or will it?
Our minds can be total mean girls sometimes. I think it does get easier tbh. The game is won faster, less energy poured into it before the win. You kind of build a new history with yourself, and back yourself more. And you learn which stories are from your inner mean girl and which ones are actually trying to help you edit your work. But every now and then there'll be a new level of discomfort to get through and you have a hard match, but the next few you blitz through. That's why we need each other in this creative journey. Someone has to pass us the sugar snacks and water bottle!
Also, I just shared this above but you might like this one too: https://keeleyrees.substack.com/p/ep-3-creative-currency#details ❤️
I think I could get on board with creating covered in glitter tbh?
It's not often that I'm *not* tbh. But glitter has a bad rep and I went with that. 🙈
This might be an odd comment to leave on a post, but--I married a Rees, and we were trying to figure out if you and my bride are related.