“What if your dream has a deadline?” Inspired by the announcement that Substack is for video, I thought I’d get my brave on long enough to share a couple of my short films this week. (Who knows how long this spell of bravery will last. I take zero responsibility for my nervous system deleting this at any moment. Watch it while you can.) More details about the film below if you’d like to know some of the story behind it. (Director’s notes, if you will?) Plus, just for funsies I’m including a couple of the behind the scenes documents and production images.
Thank you Carmen. Proud of the work, just not easy being visible - intentionally - 🙈 my film work has always felt so close to my heart and it’s hard to share. But we get one life, right? Just thought it was time to get brave. 🦋🩵And Happy Birthday for your 30th! Here’s to the new decade ahead being FULL of dreams. 💫
I loved it Keeley, what a joy to watch! Feels timely for me in a way, quite a few of my friends are going through big life changes and it's making me question and think more about how close my 30's are and the expectations I've unconsciously put on myself as I reach that milestone. This captured that feeling beautifully!
And may all our heArts and comments sooth your nervous system 🤯🔜💞
♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧
I remember my 30th birthday very clearly:
I couldn't wait for it. Finally being an “adult”. Knowing how things work 🤣 only to find myself being on the verge of the second divorce - bingo ;-) But I was happy about my first gray hair and that Saturn's first return, despite all the chaos, led me well through the chaos.
Then walked thru my forties - almost the third divorce - forced by me myself and I BUT thanks to Uranus help ;-) it turned out, that I learned a little bit. So I'm still married to my third hubby 🥰. Celebrating lovingly on 1st of January ('24) our 19th year of togetherness and rollercoaster life and 12 moves - and...
my 50th birthday is a little more than one year old and well I still have (un)fullfilled dreams with no deadline...
Absolutely brilliant!! Such a relatable story and you look like one of my Barbies 🤭 beautiful you ! also, Short inhale, long exhale 😮💨 at least 10 times, that would help your nervous system understand it’s okay and you are safe my lovely friend. Thank you for sharing your beautiful work 🤍✨
Well tears from this 41 year old who’s been struggling to sort through impacts of choices made by a younger version of me. Not that I have a bad life, I don’t. It’s a bit like what’s been captured here. It just looks different than the dreams and wishes. Not better. Not worse. different. Like Jeff Goins writes in his poem Wanting:
Oh Keeley, I adore this and it hits home so much. I turned 30 this year and I remember a few years ago, when I felt it approaching on the horizon, I started to feel this inexplicable anxiety. For me, it came from the place of knowing that I was planning to start a family around 30, something I'd always *planned* on. I was caught in a narrative though that once I became a mother, all other aspects of my life would cease to exist. It put an insane pressure on me, that I had to accomplish EVERYTHING I'd ever hoped to before the clock struck midnight on my birthday. Through a lot of work in therapy, conversations with my husband, and the actual experiencing of becoming a mother, I realized that this wasn't true, that I still had time. I think this is something so many women feel strongly though, this idea that we're only relevant while we're in our twenties. Thank you for capturing this 🧡
Thank you Kerani, isn’t that amazing. Also it’s weird actually, the 30th birthday is apparently really common for the birthday anxiety? I’d never had it before & haven’t had it since. But it was intense at the time. You’re amazing and I know you know this now but you really do have time. The narrative around us is whack. We need to remind each other every now & then maybe. xx
I think it's a cultural thing, particularly for women. I feel like the media pushes this narrative that 30 is old and irrelevant, so you need to do all your living in 20s before you get boring. But I think the 20s are the chrysalis years - you're disintegrating your identity, unlearning the patterns you adopted in child and teenagehood, puddling into one big messy sludge of goo. After you've done that work and gone through that process, then you can emerge as a butterfly (or moth, if that's more your vibe) 🦋 I think your 30s are when we really get to start being ourselves
THIS IS FANTASTIC - You are a total dream my love!!! You have SO SO SO many talents my friend. Blown away. Such good timing and I have already felt the '40' downer seeping into my thoughts, I haven't organised anything, I said I didn't want a party, but did I? No idea, what I want. There is so much pressure isn't there to mark the occasion with something. I have decided on a 40th year instead... Loved this so much and love you xox
There is way too much pressure, I agree. I just didn’t have it in me. I booked out 2 escape rooms and took my brothers and their partners out for the day to do the rooms together. It was so much fun. Then I fulfilled my dream of making my own cake (fancy) and that felt like more of a dream rather than a big party we’re told to have.
I am crying. And I have to go to work in 5 minutes. Lucky I didn't put any mascara on yet... This is awesome and amazing and beautiful and heat wrenching and complete and utter genius (and every single other superlative in every language - no exaggeration) , in every single way. And I also love you so much.
I am SO glad you shared this, I have been wanting to see it, and I KNEW it would be beautiful, and it really is. You are an inspiration, dear one. Thank you for making and sharing such beauty (and the dreams that go along with and around it all). Big love to you.
ITS SO GOOD YOURE SO TALENTED I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Also, this is very topical with me turning 40 this week...
Love you more. 🫶🏻 And yep I did think that. 🙈
I am also turning 40 Sara in January and it has been on my mind alot.... Keeley wow!!! x
Keeley this is so incredibly beautiful! The story, the movie, everything 🥰 i hope you’re proud and your nervous system will be able to relax.
I turned 30 earlier this year was keen to leave my 20s behind 😅
Thank you Carmen. Proud of the work, just not easy being visible - intentionally - 🙈 my film work has always felt so close to my heart and it’s hard to share. But we get one life, right? Just thought it was time to get brave. 🦋🩵And Happy Birthday for your 30th! Here’s to the new decade ahead being FULL of dreams. 💫
I loved it Keeley, what a joy to watch! Feels timely for me in a way, quite a few of my friends are going through big life changes and it's making me question and think more about how close my 30's are and the expectations I've unconsciously put on myself as I reach that milestone. This captured that feeling beautifully!
Thank you Jodie! 😭🩵
Heihei Keeley!
This is such a heartwarming story 🙏🏻♡🙏🏻
And may all our heArts and comments sooth your nervous system 🤯🔜💞
♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧
I remember my 30th birthday very clearly:
I couldn't wait for it. Finally being an “adult”. Knowing how things work 🤣 only to find myself being on the verge of the second divorce - bingo ;-) But I was happy about my first gray hair and that Saturn's first return, despite all the chaos, led me well through the chaos.
Then walked thru my forties - almost the third divorce - forced by me myself and I BUT thanks to Uranus help ;-) it turned out, that I learned a little bit. So I'm still married to my third hubby 🥰. Celebrating lovingly on 1st of January ('24) our 19th year of togetherness and rollercoaster life and 12 moves - and...
my 50th birthday is a little more than one year old and well I still have (un)fullfilled dreams with no deadline...
That helps me to breathe ♡
♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧♡✧
Your movie and your dreams definitely do!
Thank you Ellen. Yes to having more dreams ahead with no deadline! xx
Oh I LOVE this, how clever are you!?! 😍
Thank you Jo! I had the best team, honestly and we had the best time making it. 💗
Definitely no deleting allowed! X
Will try. There's always the 'unpublish' button. 🙈 But no. This has meant something to others so it has to stay. xx
SO GOOD! Very fun to watch.
Thank you Anna. xx
Absolutely brilliant!! Such a relatable story and you look like one of my Barbies 🤭 beautiful you ! also, Short inhale, long exhale 😮💨 at least 10 times, that would help your nervous system understand it’s okay and you are safe my lovely friend. Thank you for sharing your beautiful work 🤍✨
Thank you lovely. 💗xx
Well tears from this 41 year old who’s been struggling to sort through impacts of choices made by a younger version of me. Not that I have a bad life, I don’t. It’s a bit like what’s been captured here. It just looks different than the dreams and wishes. Not better. Not worse. different. Like Jeff Goins writes in his poem Wanting:
“So if you live a life of wanting-
and we all do-
then you had better understand
what it is to make peace
with the part of you that thirsts for an ocean
it has never seen,
the one that still dreams,
so that when you wake
you won’t forget
to live.
Beautiful Keely!
Hey Amanda, 🫶🏻 love the way you’ve worded that. It’s a strange kind of grief that isn’t talked about much, is it? xx Love those words from Jeff.
Oh Keeley, I adore this and it hits home so much. I turned 30 this year and I remember a few years ago, when I felt it approaching on the horizon, I started to feel this inexplicable anxiety. For me, it came from the place of knowing that I was planning to start a family around 30, something I'd always *planned* on. I was caught in a narrative though that once I became a mother, all other aspects of my life would cease to exist. It put an insane pressure on me, that I had to accomplish EVERYTHING I'd ever hoped to before the clock struck midnight on my birthday. Through a lot of work in therapy, conversations with my husband, and the actual experiencing of becoming a mother, I realized that this wasn't true, that I still had time. I think this is something so many women feel strongly though, this idea that we're only relevant while we're in our twenties. Thank you for capturing this 🧡
Thank you Kerani, isn’t that amazing. Also it’s weird actually, the 30th birthday is apparently really common for the birthday anxiety? I’d never had it before & haven’t had it since. But it was intense at the time. You’re amazing and I know you know this now but you really do have time. The narrative around us is whack. We need to remind each other every now & then maybe. xx
I think it's a cultural thing, particularly for women. I feel like the media pushes this narrative that 30 is old and irrelevant, so you need to do all your living in 20s before you get boring. But I think the 20s are the chrysalis years - you're disintegrating your identity, unlearning the patterns you adopted in child and teenagehood, puddling into one big messy sludge of goo. After you've done that work and gone through that process, then you can emerge as a butterfly (or moth, if that's more your vibe) 🦋 I think your 30s are when we really get to start being ourselves
THIS IS FANTASTIC - You are a total dream my love!!! You have SO SO SO many talents my friend. Blown away. Such good timing and I have already felt the '40' downer seeping into my thoughts, I haven't organised anything, I said I didn't want a party, but did I? No idea, what I want. There is so much pressure isn't there to mark the occasion with something. I have decided on a 40th year instead... Loved this so much and love you xox
There is way too much pressure, I agree. I just didn’t have it in me. I booked out 2 escape rooms and took my brothers and their partners out for the day to do the rooms together. It was so much fun. Then I fulfilled my dream of making my own cake (fancy) and that felt like more of a dream rather than a big party we’re told to have.
https://open.substack.com/pub/keeleyrees/p/birthday-shenanigans?r=1ielku&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
That sounds perfect but what is an escape room?? I am intrigued. Loved reading about your party 🎈
And thank you for your beautiful words & support. xx
Fabulous and filled with emotional resonance. Well done!
Thank you Sharon! x
Fabulous and filled with emotional resonance. Well done!
I am crying. And I have to go to work in 5 minutes. Lucky I didn't put any mascara on yet... This is awesome and amazing and beautiful and heat wrenching and complete and utter genius (and every single other superlative in every language - no exaggeration) , in every single way. And I also love you so much.
Do not delete it. The End.
I am SO glad you shared this, I have been wanting to see it, and I KNEW it would be beautiful, and it really is. You are an inspiration, dear one. Thank you for making and sharing such beauty (and the dreams that go along with and around it all). Big love to you.
♥️✨️